Why would you turn yourself, your thinking and your actions upside down (when compared to a routine kind of operating in your everyday life) if you haven't made the decision to do so yet?
Just the other day, I was thinking how much time I used to spend (and sometimes I still do of course) on deciding what would be the best thing to do and how to do it...especially in terms of organising all kinds of everyday life processes: from how to convince my daughter not to have a tantrum every time she wants to dress herself when we are in a hurry for a kindergarten to how to make my working day as efficient (and don't get mad when its not) as possible. Well, I have always been a bit of a nerdy perfectionist and it doesn't come naturally for me to be on a fast track when deciding. I always juggle between good enough and best. How to do things the best as I can. But what is best and what is good enough? Well, after many years of practice how to improve my "decision skills", living a family life that is a bit more non conventional (travelling a lot, live in two countries for parts of the year) I came to a conclusion that first I need to modify my mindset in a way that I will not suffer from feelings of guilt that I haven't done my best in deciding best/doing best...best/best/best. It really took me a while to understand that contentment comes from growth not from perfection. And thats how I started studying the real meaning of a growth mindset, which I needed to embrace fully.
The most valuable and powerful thing that I have come to understanding with was so obvious yet so hard to implement it on a regular basis -> "I cheer myself up when it gets hard" and the other two important accompanying affirmations for me were "I grown my brain by learning hard things".
I love to structure things but I am not a structured person, who loves that everything in life has order, how crazy is that? The total opposite :) But eventually what happened with years is that more I can structure concepts, ideas and understand them, more can I be a spontaneous, less frustrated about the fact that I should have a life, more oriented towards creating order and full structure.
"I cheer myself up when it gets hard" - yes, thats so important! ✨ My simple, everyday practice: in the morning ALWAYS includes this - I get up, go to a bathroom, close the doors and I look at myself in the mirror (really LOOK throughly) and make a few big smiles, I look closer to see my eyes and I repeat "I am gonna make the day and stay centred, no matter what happens and how much everyone else is trying to prove me differently!" I don't believe in miracles or easy way solutions but what I do believe is LIKE YOU TRAIN YOUR BODY (and we all know how to do it, right?), YOU TRAIN YOUR MIND. 💪 And nobody gets nice six packs in a day or a week! IT TAKES TIME AND DEDICATION. TRAIN YOUR MIND EVERY DAY and after YEARS it might become your WELL TRAINED FRIEND. Thats what it means to cultivate a growth mindset.
"I grow my brain by learning hard things" - that is how we roll it....this is like - you go to the gym, you feel how freaking stiff is your back, your legs, etc, you somehow start training and after an hour the stiffness can transform into a greatly felt pain. You ask yourself "why the heck do I need to do this, for who am I doing this?" Well, the magic wouldn't be magic if there wouldn't be a bit of a secret in it. The secret is - YOU are DOING this TO TRAIN YOUR BODY TO SERVE YOU WELL. But the fact is, you need to be gentle with the process as you don't want to lose your motivation in the short term. That would be insane. Train for the long term. Your body remembers the steps of the process not the goal of the process. Even more, your goal SHOULD be to LEARN how to do the steps, consistently yet gently. Completely the same goes for the brain - train it well for the GROWTH IN TIME, as with not training it well for growth, the brain will start to hibernate or even worse, will become your enemy, building up the negative thought system that might even lead to several more severe states. My simple, everyday practice: Maybe its crazy, but what I do on a regular basis, I intentionally put myself in a position to manage something slightly challenging or naturally hard to do. And lets not be judgmental here, everyone has its own term of what judgmental is for her/him. For example? I ask for help, when work or personal things pile up. I am used to doing everything on my own and asking for help used to feel like for me as a sign for not being good enough, for not being strong enough. Such a stupid thing. I do this more and more often...not because I really would need help (or would I), but AS I TRAIN MY BRAIN to RETHINK, REWIRE.
Next time, I plan to share my personal notes that involve very simple morning physical practices, with more accompanying mind trainings. Maybe you can find some useful for your morning routine too :) Do you have any great tools to share how to cultivate that growth mindset?